Tourist + Moron = Touron… And National Parks Have A LOT of Them

Invasion of the idiots

Ever see a video of a tourist at a National Park and all you can do is shake your head?

I mean, what is with these folks?

They go into completely wild environments and act like they know what’s going on.

No ma’am, that bull elk will kill you, the bison will hit you like a truck, and that grizzly bear is not a teddy.

It’s funny, annoying, and scary all in one when you see a tourist do some stupid crap trying to get a photo of wildlife. We all know you’re not a professional photographer so please tell me why you’re putting your life on the line for a few photos for the ‘Gram?

It just ain’t worth it, not even a little…

On a typical internet search for all things wildlife, a video surfaced on my feed. The video itself was nothing special but I came across a term I hadn’t seen or heard before, touron.

Don’t be a touron! © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

It’s pretty simple… Tourist + Moron = Touron!

Urban Dictionary defines it as “any person who, while on vacation, commits an act of pure stupidity.”

Not only does touron roll oddly smooth off the tongue but it also really is just the perfect description of all the people who ignore the painfully obvious signs of what to do and not do with the wildlife.

However, wherever there is a touron with a cell phone, there’s probably someone else close by capturing the stupidity.

These videos are living proof of the kind of idiots that walk into National Parks on a daily basis. It is not a zoo, there are no cages for a reason, and these animals have the ability to seriously harm you…

The one with a fella trying to scare a mother black bear off is insane. Rule number one is stay away from a mother and her young. You are just asking to get attacked.

Don’t be a touron! © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

You can see a mother bear and her three cubs. The man walks around a vehicle to try and scare a bear. Two big no-no’s! Don’t approach a mother bear or try to scare any bear. That’s a good way to, oh, I don’t know… die?

In this case the man got off lucky. She just bluff charged and slapped at the man as he ran off.

Grade A Touron.

Here is some more helpful information on bear safety: You Come Across a Bear. Your Next Move Is Very Important. Do You Know What To Do?

Once you’re aware of the word touron, it seems to come up everywhere. There’s an entire subreddit dedicated to visitors who hike off trail, get too close to wildlife, and bathe in the hot springs at Yellowstone National Park.

The popular Instagram account @touronsofyellowstone which posts videos and photos of park visitors misbehaving has amassed 486,000 followers while @touronsofnationalparks has 176,000 and dozens more accounts have popped up (there’s @touronsofhawaii, @touronsofthepnw, and @tourons_of_joshuatree just to name a few).

Instagrammer Jackie Boesinger Meredyk (@jaboes) posted video footage of a tourist getting too close to a herd of bison that caused a road blockage near Bridal Veil Falls at Yellowstone National Park.

The video was reposted on @touronsofyellowstone and the caption describes how the person got out of their vehicle about 20 cars back and walked along the mountain road, all while holding an iPad to get a unique picture.

The park’s law enforcement was trying to get the herd moving and they were stunned to see the tourist getting unreasonably close. After calling for the man to follow the park’s rules by standing at least 25 yards away, he retreated.

Don’t be a touron! © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

The comments section was not impressed.

“Entitled seems fitting,” said one Instagrammer with another adding, “The ranger needs to fine him.”

While getting in the personal space of bison is unwise at the best of times, this bunch featured a couple of calves increasing the risk to anyone who approaches.

“They had their babies with them,” another observed. “He’s lucky he’s still alive.”

The Government of the Northwest Territories advises never to get within a herd of bison or to come between two of the mammals, especially between a mother and calf.

Bison can be unpredictable and charge at any moment and threatening behavior from humans is sure to make this more likely.

Don’t be a touron! © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

Male bison can weigh up to 2,000 pounds, according to Yellowstone National Park while females can be as heavy as 1,000 pounds. Being charged by either isn’t likely to end well. The park says bison have harmed more people at the park than any other animal.

There are plenty of other reasons to be respectful of wildlife. Yellowstone has noted that feeding animals in its parks can lead to them getting too familiar with humans and reliant on the food they offer meaning they can become aggressive when trying to get it.

We can observe nature from a distance and still be amazed by what we see. Getting too close can be a recipe for disaster.

These reckless actions by uninformed or careless tourons put themselves, park resources, and others at severe risk of injury or death. Responsible behavior and respecting all park rules and regulations is crucial for safety.

These accounts and numerous news stories reveal that touron activity is often found in national parks and according to the Topical Dictionary of Americanisms, the term is considered “park ranger slang.” Urban Dictionary agrees. “The term has its roots in the resort, park service, and service industries and can easily be dated back at least as far as the mid-1970s,” the entry states.

Don’t be a touron! © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

The lists could go on and on…

Either way, I’m very happy to have stumbled upon the word Touron, it’s just so perfect.

Friggin’ Tourons….

Here are a few great articles to help you stay safe in national parks:

Worth Pondering…

I love the term touron. It’s a delicious portmanteau.

—Aspen Daily News

5 Best Places to Watch Wildlife Today

The U.S. and Canada are home to some incredible and unique wildlife

The United States and Canada have incredible diversity in both landscapes and natural life. From glaciers, geysers, marine ecosystems, and rich plant life that sustains incredible flora and fauna, there are so many ways to explore both nature and wildlife. Most travelers tend to gravitate toward the most popular and known areas. But there are many lesser-known areas that are a wildlife lover’s delight like epic bird migrations to viewing endangered species like manatees in the wild. And the best part is that many of these places are on public lands, accessible to all.

Rocky Mountain Goat © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

1 of 5: Rocky Mountain Goats

WHERE: Banff and Jasper National Parks, Alberta; Glacier National Park, Montana; Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado

The Mountain goat is a hoofed mammal native to North America. A subalpine to alpine species, it is a sure-footed climber commonly seen on cliffs and ice. Both male and female Mountain goats have beards, short tails, and long black horns that contain yearly growth rings. They are protected from the elements by their woolly white double coats. The fine, dense wool of their undercoats is covered by an outer layer of longer, hollow hairs. Their coats help Mountain goats to withstand winter temperatures as low as -51 degrees F and winds of up to 99 mph.

Rocky Mountain Goats © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

Mountain goats live in the Rocky Mountains and the Cascade Range and other mountain regions of Western North America from Washington, Idaho, and Montana through British Columbia and Alberta into the southern Yukon and southeastern Alaska.

INSIDER TIP: Mountain goats are not in the same genus as goats. In the Bovidae family, mountain goats are associated with antelopes, gazelles, and cattle.

Sonoran Pronghorns © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

2 of 5: Sonoran Pronghorn

WHERE: Cabeza Prieta National Wildlife Refuge, Arizona

A geographically and genetically distinct subspecies of pronghorn, the Sonoran pronghorn is smaller and lighter in color and is adapted for survival in desert conditions. The males weigh up to 130 pounds and females up to 110 pounds. Pronghorn are slightly smaller than a white-tailed deer with a shoulder height of about three feet. Pronghorn can reach speeds of up to 60 miles per hour on short distances and can maintain a speed of 35 mph for long distances.

Sonoran Pronghorns © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

While both sexes have horns, the females’ are short and look more like a bump. The males’ are black and about 10-12 inches long. Their horns extend up and point backward with a small tine (prong) that points forward. The unique design of their horn is what earned the species their name—pronghorn.

Pronghorn were once as widely distributed as buffalo. The Sonoran pronghorn ranged widely within the Sonoran desert in Arizona and California down into Sonora, Mexico—a broad, open desert landscape with limited vegetation. Today they are reduced to an estimated 160 free-ranging animals within the United States and an additional 240 free-ranging within Sonora Mexico.

INSIDER TIP: The core of what is left of the rare mammal is centered on Cabeza Prieta and Kofa national wildlife refuges. But the animal with a habit to move around in small caravans ranges widely onto other federal public lands: the Barry M. Goldwater Range, Organ Pipe National Monument, and Yuma Proving Grounds.

Elk © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

3 of 5: Elk or Wapiti

WHERE: Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming; Banff and Jasper National Parks, Alberta; Olympic National Park, Washington

Elk © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

The elk also known as the wapiti is one of the largest species within the deer family. Native American tribes had hundreds of names for elk including wapiti. It originates from the Shawnee and Cree word waapiti, meaning “white rump”. Elk range in forest and forest-edge habitat feeding on grasses, plants, leaves, and bark. Male elk have large antlers which they shed each year. Elk have thick, brown fur with a reddish hue. This animal’s rump patch, a circular area around its tail, is buff or cream in color. The average male stands nearly 5 feet tall at the shoulder and weighs over 700 pounds but they can grow much larger. The largest subspecies can surpass 1,300 pounds or more.

INSIDER TIP: The Wapiti is the second largest (after the moose) most highly evolved Old World deer. It is also known as the American elk.

Bighorn Sheep © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

4 of 5: Bighorn Sheep

WHERE: Rocky Mountain National Park, Colorado; Banff and Jasper National Parks, Alberta; Anza-Borrego Desert State Park, California; Badlands National Park, South Dakota

Bighorn Sheep © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

Bighorn sheep get their name from the large, curved horns on the males (rams) with female sheep sporting shorter, less curved horns. Bighorn sheep live in North America’s western mountainous areas from southern Canada to Mexico. There are three different subspecies of bighorn sheep, the Rocky Mountain subspecies, the Sierra Nevada subspecies, and the desert subspecies. Their habitat consists of grassy mountain slopes, alpine meadows, and foothill country near rocky, rugged cliffs, and bluffs.

INSIDER TIP: Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep are the largest wild sheep in North America. Muscular males can weigh over 300 pounds and stand over three feet tall at the shoulder. Females are roughly half this size.

Javelina © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

5 of 5: Javelina or Collared Peccary

WHERE: Big Bend National Park, Texas; Catalina State Park, Arizona

Javelina also known as collared peccary are medium-sized animals that look similar to a wild boar. Javelina stands about 2 feet tall and can weigh between 35 and 55 pounds. They are 3 to 4 feet long. They have mainly short coarse salt and pepper colored hair, short legs, and a pig-like nose. The hair around the neck/shoulder area is lighter in color giving it the look of a collar.

Javelina © Rex Vogel, all rights reserved

Javelinas have long, sharp canine teeth which protrude from the jaws about an inch. They live in desert washes, saguaro and palo verde forests, oak woodlands, and grasslands with mixed shrubs and cacti. Javelinas can be found in the deserts of southwest Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and southward through Mexico.

INSIDER TIP: Javelinas are not pigs. They look similar but pigs are from the “Old World” and peccary is “New World” animals.

Worth Pondering…

Oh, give me a home where the Buffalo roam
Where the Deer and the Antelope play;
Where never is heard a discouraging word,
And the sky is not clouded all day.

—Dr. Brewster Higley (1876)